Bird S!@#

What are the odds of being shit on by a bird? What about the odds of being shit on by a bird within a two week window? I went to search for that fact online and only came across one web site making an honest attempt to answer those questions, the Dilbert Blog.

Why is that relevant to me? Well it, shit, happens.

On a leisurely walk to dinner during the EMBA orientation as I was enjoying a pleasant conversation with one of my classmates when all of a sudden a drop of moisture hit my head. There was no rain, no rain clouds. I wiped the moisture from my head only to discover my hand to be colored olive green. Yes. Bird shit. Luckily for me my near bald head was easy to clean with a couple of splashes of water and soap in the men’s room. It was the first time ever in my life I was shat upon.

Forward one week later on a very modest evening on my drive home I came to a near stop at an intersection under a shade tree. To my surprise, another morsel from above passed through the open moon roof to find it’s way into the exact same spot as the previous week. I was shat upon a second time.

Is this the infamous St. Louis screw? Since I’ve slowed my spend rate with any retailer searching to rape a new St. Louis resident, is St. Louis now sending a message? Since I berate baseball over and over again in a city that is built around baseball, are the real cardinals now targeting me with vengeance? What message is being sent here?

I dunno. I just know it sucks to get shat upon.

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